Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Out of fear of jumping the shark Solomon Revisited will be going on a temporary hiatus. Lately I feel as if I have been posting for the sake of posting, with nothing of any significant importance to say. There are millions of blogs out there just like that, and I strive to be a little more interesting than that.

I have a few ideas for articles and fiction pieces floating around in my head, but the timing just doesn’t fit (I’m off for vacation in a few days. Back for three days. Off onĀ  vacation for another week. Home for a few days. Then I move). I plan to come back to this around the beginning of August, but don’t hold me to that.

Advertisements

Today I discovered that Sourpuss liqueur comes in the following flavors:

Apple
Mango
Raspberry
Grape
Blue

If you wanted proof that their “natural flavors” claim is total B.S. just look to the Blue flavor. What exactly is blue? More importantly, what does blue taste like?

Anyways, sorry for not posting in a while. Things have been busy with school, but I’m finally done (for now). You may have noticed I’ve missed my awesome links post for two weeks now. This is because of three things. First, school. Second, I forgot about it. Third, I have no intentions of ever doing it again. Thats just how good I am at sticking to things.

Today started off as a fairly simple day. It was a Saturday morning and the tone was having a party, so most people were busy or still asleep. I listened to music, put out some beer, and tried to find other ways to occupy my time. Well, I found one. Someone had just changed the big sign out front (finally, no one wants to buy tickets for the May 30th DJ on June 15th) and they left the big bin of letters in the back. This left me with a solid two hours of fun and spelling.

BIG PLASTIC LETTERS

From that point on, the day went crazy. I’ve put off on telling you guys all of the drama going around at the liquor store because I just worried it would take too long. Well, it probably will. A few weeks ago one of the girls working at the liquor store didn’t show up for her shift. Apparently, the owners had said something she didn’t take very well and so everyone assumed she quit. Later that night her boyfriend came in and asked if she called in. I said she didn’t and asked whether or not she had quit. No, he said, their kid was just sick and she had taken them to the hospital. Fair enough, I phoned and told the manager and all was good again. Then, at ten o’clock the next morning I got a phone call. She didn’t show again, and no one else felt like working. Could I work? Well, I guess so, so I did. The girl was done, she showed up a couple of days later to buy beer and was asked to leave. She left her keys, and no one ever spoke a word of any of it.

The owners had hired a girl they knew to work one day a week at the bar around this same time. Without explaining to her what was going they sent her over to the liquor store that same morning I was called in. “I guess I work here now.” “I guess I’m training.” Apparently, the owners were fairly fed up with the manager and were considering firing her and giving the position to the new girl. So, with the promise of a good wage and full time hours the girl who was going to work one day a week at the bar quit her other job and moved full time to the liquor store. The manager was phoned and made aware that she would have to change her schedule, and she flipped out and asked if they were trying to fire her. Apparently, the owners said no but made her well aware of her poor standing. She was even told that her staff disliked her. A fact I would have preferred been left out of a totally unrelated argument.

The next night the manager came in during my shift and told me she was going to have to work late to finish doing some month end work. After a while she said she had to go pick up her husband from work and left. She came back, then later on decided she would do it the next day and went over to the bar. She started doing her usual routine and started finding things I could be putting away.

“Its okay, my shift isn’t done. I’ve got it. Seriously, I can do it… Don’t worry about it, go back over to the bar and enjoy the party.”
“I’m just going to do some of this.”
“You really don’t have to.”
“Wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh.”

That’s right, she was crying. Bawling even. “You don’t really hate me, do you?” I stood there dumbstruck as she told me about how mean they had been to her, how she didn’t know if she could keep up with it, how she was doing such a good job and didn’t get it, and just how generally bad things were. I didn’t know what to do. I nodded and shook my head and raised my eyebrow and giggled under my breath and shook my head a little more (behind her back this time). Nothing ever came of it, she didn’t quit and no one fired her.

Which leads us to today. Or last night. The guy who works there phoned the new girl and asked her to work today. She said yes, but early this morning remembered about some plans she had and phoned to say she couldn’t come in after all. He showed up and picked up his check (I worked this morning) and mentioned in passing that he “hoped she showed up” before I had any idea what was going on. She showed up and I asked her if she was working and she said no. She had told him she couldn’t and he ignored it. Later he came in to pick up a couple of beer and I asked him about it.

“If anyone asks, I wasn’t here. I’m just not going to show up.” He said as he signed his credit card receipt, ultimately proving that he was there. I phoned the manager to explain that he didn’t show up when my shift was done, and she didn’t answer. Her daughter did. Apparently, she doesn’t have a home phone. She just has a cell phone and she lent it to her daMORE BIG PLASTIC LETTERSughter for the day. So I phoned the guy to tell him to get his ass over, and he didn’t answer. So I phoned the owners who have never had to work a shift before, and they came in. So, now the guy is fired and they’re mad at the manager again. Apparently, they’re back to thinking she will be fired.

Oh, and me and the new girl put in our two week notice. Good times.

Every Friday I’m going to try and bring you everything I thought was awesome on the internet that week. A good flash game, a funny twitter post, some news, anything. I can’t promise it’ll be fresh to that week, but it’ll be stuff that I’ve just stumbled upon. So, heres the first list.

  • Nee is an idea I can actually get behind. It’s a political party in Belgium that has formed for people to protest the lack of a party that doesn’t have anything they are looking for. At least, if it wasn’t for the fact that it is made of complete idiots. They totally lack a serious political idea, and its no surprise. Their candidate for senate is Tania Derveaux. In the 2007 election she promised 40,000 blowjobs if elected. Eventually, the party moved on and started a movie production company (movielol.org). One of the productions they put out is Athene, a video game show put out by Tania’s boyfriend. I recommend you give it a watch. Its so bad that I had to watch a second episode to make sure the bad humor in the first one wasn’t intentional. It wasn’t. The highlight is his accent, so instead of “pwning” he “poons noobs” and instead of “wow gold” he buys lots of “woo goolds”. Anyways, Athene has started a campaign saying that any virgin in the world who can prove they fight for Net Neutrality can have sex with Tania. Of course, they have to meet her terms of service. I think I went overboard on my first link.
  • I’ll make this one lighter. Apparently growing up with the dinosaurs made McCain an incredibly tough man. Perhaps Hilary would have been tougher competition for him. Or maybe Mitt Romney. I don’t know what people did before The Onion.
  • For some reason I don’t actually understand I’ve been playing a game called Arcane all week. I think its 50% me procrastinating for the last week of school, 50% fun, 50% “I just need to beat this level” syndrome, and 150% game.
  • Apparently, If I had been one year older I would have had a pretty solid chance with Hulk Hogans wife. I like to think this went down one of two ways. A) She met the 19 year old because he was the passenger when her 17 year old son got in a car accident. B) She met the 19 year old because he was a backup dancer for her 20 year old daughter. Depressing. Maybe I was just too young to care, but I think the WWF (Or E) failed to mention that Hulkamania is actually a form of clinical depression. I never would have told people I was a Hulkamaniac.
  • It looks like McDonalds has invented billboards that advertise there salads by growing their message in lettuce. Well, this is further proof to my theory that everything from McDonalds is at least 50% not real food. Kind of like a plastic billboard.
  • It seems like Marvel has been really stepping it up with their movies lately, even giving DC a bit of competition. Think their planned animated movies can do the same? Don’t worry, nothing can beat the DCAU. We can all dream for something comparable though, can’t we?

And with that, I’ll wrap up week one. Please, leave some comments, tell me what you liked/dislike, and what you want more/less of. Expect this to be longer in the future, but I just came up with the idea on the fly.

In 1983 DC Comics made a bold move in replacing Dick Grayson as Robin with Jason Todd. The move wasn’t all too successful, and by 1988 the company just wasn’t sure they wanted to keep him around any more. An ad was taken out in the book for a phone poll. Phone in to help decide whether Jason Todd will live or die. The ad read “Robin will die because the Joker wants revenge, but you can prevent it with a telephone call.” It was generally expected that there would be an overwhelming number of votes to kill him off, but in the end it was a mere 28 votes that did the deed. Now, 20 years later, continuity is running wild, and Jason Todd is back despite the pleas of the children of the past.

Upset? We have a new place to take out our anger. Kokanee Beer, one of the most popular beers through Western Canada and parts of the Northwestern United States, is asking you to let the Ranger live or die. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, let me explain. The Kokanee ad campaign has been a fairly simplistic ongoing story for years. Their is a Sasquatch running free through the mountains, and it is the job of the Kokanee Ranger to stop him. In each commercial he tries and fails, with new ways thrown in through each new ad. A year or two back the Ranger hired the three Glacier Girls to help him track the elusive monster, but still the battle stood at a stalemate. A battle of such epic proportions has not been seen since Wile E. Coyote versus the roadrunner.

Well now the kind folks at Kokanee are wondering whether or not we think the Ranger is doing his job well enough or not. All they ask is that we visit RangerLiveorDie.ca and voice our opinions. In return, they offer you a few video scenarios of what may happen depending on who wins the vote. Personally, I have voted “Live”. I love these commercials. I have since long before I could drink the stuff (which I still don’t). I love grabbing a bottle of Kokanee from my dad and seeing where the Sasquatch is hidden on the label this time (Part of the ad campaign: The label on the beer is a picture of a mountain range, and the Sasquatch is always hidden somewhere in it). It’s just fun. So, I ask you, tell them you are from Alberta and help the cause. Save the Ranger. We’ll get that hairy son of a bitch eventually.

Yesterday was an incredibly slow night. I think I can probably count the number of customers I had on both hands. To make matters worse (depending on your perspective) it was Sunday, and beer trucks come on Mondays. This meant the back room was almost completely empty, and I didn’t even have anything to put away. Instead, I went rummaging around beneath the counter, in search of something to do. Dog treats, lollipops, paper clips, post-it notes, and at last the “jackpot”.

I found the log book that the people who worked there previous to the current staff kept. It started at the beginning of 2006 and went straight through to February of 2008, when the new staff started. I unfolded a chair in the back room, turned on some music, and started at the beginning.

Immediately I noticed a sort of bond between the girls that is missing with the current staff. Notes ended with “don’t worry about it”, “love ya!”, and even a few “you rock, girl!”‘s thrown into the mix. This was both a good and bad thing. It meant they had a lighter workload, generally got along with each other, and that I had something entertaining to read. Unfortunately it also meant that they cared about the job and their staff, and things got heated on occasion. Again, it gave me something fun to read.

Somewhere in the middle of the book, a new girl started. Everyone was told to be nice to her, and show her the ropes. On her first note, she was just pointing out that she didn’t know why her till had been short. On the next note, she didn’t know why her till had been a little bit over. On her next note– There was no next note. No mention of her quitting or being fired. She was just done. Her run had lasted a week, and it was left to the imagination what caused this abrupt stop. Now, I’m sure it was actually discussed at the time, just not on paper. So I chose to think of it like a disappearance. I don’t recognize her name, and I like to think that is because she hasn’t been heard from since and not because I don’t know anyone in town.

After that, the book continued on normally for a while. Owner’s passed down some drama, girls had drama of their own, stocking was done, inventory was done, a year or so passed. Then I realized the book was coming to an end. I started skimming over the useless “We are low on Budweiser” notes and reading strictly the juicy stuff. I shed a single tear thinking the odd mystery of what the hell happened might be solved. Then it came.

Feb. 13 2008: “We are low on Budweiser”

That was it. Apparently, this was their fate. They ran low on Budweiser one too many times and the ax was dropped. At least, that is the only LOGICAL assumption since there was no post afterwards to explain that they all had to give their notice, or that if one went down they would all go down together, or that it would be OKAY, and they would get more Budweiser. It just ended. So did my shift.

I just got home from seeing the latest Indiana Jones film, and I think I can bring a fairly unique view of it. Any review or discussion about the film I have seen has been in passing, on my way to read something else. I watched the original trilogy (or at least some of it) as a child, but I haven’t seen it since. I think that is the way to look at this film; to let it stand alone.

Right from the beginning what I noticed was that it looked brilliant. The CGI wasn’t perfect, but I felt like it fit incredibly well. When Indy wandered through the Pleasantville-esque testing site all I could think was that I was getting to see the fifties better than anyone in the fifties ever did. Any flaws or inconsistencies felt like they would have fit or looked in place in any fiction that came out during that period, and for some reason that helped me to forgive it. When we were given an aerial view of the ancient cemetery and it looked like an incredibly small scale model of the cemetery, I just giggled and thought of a flying saucer coming passed held up by a thin wire. I can’t vouch for whether or not any of that was intentional or not, but that is the way I looked at it, and that is the way I enjoyed it.

I think that holds true for what I liked about the entire movie, was its strong sensibilities to the ’50s. The fact that this wasn’t taking place in the 1930s and ’40s was flaunted at us. The Nazi’s of yesteryear were replaced with dirty Russian commies. The occult was no longer a mystery to be solved, instead it was the work of aliens. Women’s rights were more and more important, and this gave us our first powerful female antagonist. I could go on for days. I had a lot of fun picking out the little things like this, and marveling in how well it was constructed and pointed out. My favorite of all of these little things had to be how Henry III grew up in a period (Greaser culture) where it was much cooler to change his name to Mutt than when Henry II grew up (Pulp culture) where it was much cooler to change his name to Indiana.

The thing I found to be the weakest in this movie was the plot, but I thoroughly enjoyed it anyways. The senseless action of all of it was fun and exaggerated, the way I imagine your typical Indiana Jones movies would run. That is really my only low point, and I like to think that is little more than personal taste. From the little I’ve heard, everyone’s problem with this seems to be Mutt Williams. No one wants to see him “ripping off” the Indiana Jones they grew up with. Personally, I don’t see it that way. Mutt is a different character in a different era who will obviously face different obstacles, and we will get to see how he follows in his father’s footsteps to deal with them. I ate the character up, shook my head at his conceit, gawked at his amazing vine-swinging skill, and laughed at his typical (of the 50s) teenage humor. We need to look at this as an evolution. In the same way we relate to apes, Mutt relates to Indy. This is not to say that he will make for a better franchise, just that he will make for a very loosely related franchise.

Personally, I plan to keep an open mind and approach anything else that comes out of this with very mild enthusiasm. I’ll call it a 4/5.